pink_spiral

I really hate days like today. Start out great and then BAM.

I really need to use this more often. I find myself using my 'real' account and heavily editing myself. That's probably where some of my anxiety is coming from. I have attempted to post from my phone a time or two but it is a pain to go back and forth between accounts and remember my password. Ah, First World Problems how I love thee.

Things with Ann have been amusing. She has attempted to become friends again a couple of times but I have handled it by telling her no the first time and then flat out ignoring her the rest of the time. When we are in the same social situation, I am polite and act as if nothing happened. I don't want to bring everyone else into it all. I do know that people know something happened but have not brought it up. I know they are curious due to gossip I heard but, eh. When I think about maybe restarting the friendship, I just read her blog and get a great reminder of what a self-righteous crazy ass she is.

There is a woman in my circle of friends. We will call her Ann as that is not her real name and I need to give her one. Ann is a sacred cow of sorts. No, I'm not calling her fat. She's idolized by other people in our circle. On the surface, she's entertaining, arty, and funny. That said, she's also an insufferable hipster, selfish and unstable. She writes continually about her depression and how she is fighting it and doesn't want it. I think she does in that she doesn't want to let it go. Every chance she gets at help, she destroys. She defines herself with her depression. She brings her young child into her therapy sessions to listen to everything. She is also one of those friends that needs everyone when she is going through an episode but one she is in a good place, those that helped her become invisible to her.

Have to pick up the husband at the airport around 1 am. And then be up for work tomorrow at 7. I really don't want to go to work. I really hate it. It is just wrong. I know that I'm in the wrong place. I ended up in an industry I really don't care for and doing something that I really hate. If it were as easy as people say to just quit and find something else. That might be easier when it is a starting position. When one has been in it for as long as I have it gets more complicated. I have responsibilites I just can't shrug off. It takes time and a bit of luck.

Later this week, I should know better which direction to take the first step in.